Reflections of 2014 – Drastic changes

“2014 will be a year of peace. If you bring drama, you may as well leave. I cannot be scared of those who
may leave. 
I cannot be afraid of what I cannot see.” – written on the inside cover of my journal at the end of 2013.

Sometimes big changes require drastic changes.

2014 will be a year of peace.” That’s what continues to go through my head as I take a look at where I am in my life.

Making this statement was hard. I knew that with this statement there was a good change I would be giving up a long-term relationship. One where marriage was in talks. One where I had a beautiful promise ring. One where no one thought it would ever end.

photoOne where happiness no longer lived. There were tears. There were fights. And no matter how hard I tried, I just wasn’t good enough.

And I was tired.

I couldn’t do it anymore.

On Jan 5, 2014, I said goodbye to that relationship.

3 months later, I’m better for it.

The lesson: Big changes may require drastic changes.

Since the breakup, I’ve seen a drastic change in my life, my mood, and my energy. I’m happier, and I have a newfound understanding of living life, loving Gina, and not being so anxious to have the love that others profess to have found.

But the breakup was just the beginning of more life-changing changes.

With the loss of a young lady, my faith was rocked to the core. I questioned why God would let something like that happen – and so suddenly. I cried hard. I prayed hard. It took a lot of fight to keep my faith. I was mad at God. I was hurt by the situation. I was overwhelmed. I just didn’t know how to handle it. I still have pain. Yet, I’m stronger.

Then something else changed – my dream. RRP Marketing began its journey of cessation. The activation of a new Gina was in motion. Appreciating the finer, less tangible things in life became a priority.

And finally, in less than 14 days, my Facebook account will be deleted. Not just deactivated. Deleted.

These were all bold leaps. In the midst of personal weakness, I found personal strength. I’m no longer chasing what others have nor what makes others happy. This year, I’m being a bit selfish. And it feels good.

 

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